Seek professional help if you -- or both of you -- are struggling to rebuild the relationship after your wife's affair.
Ask friends, family or your primary care doctor to recommend an experience, suitably qualified couples counselor. Embrace the opportunity to learn about and improve yourself, as well as arm yourself with the tools you need to create a happy, healthy, trusting marriage. Video of the Day. How to Repair a Marriage After Infidelity. Ways for Married Couples to Improve Communication.
Married Men and Cheating. The Effects of Infidelity on a Marriage. How to Deal With Disrespectful Stepchildren.
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When his friend confronted him with the truth, he was stunned. I ran out of the pub and sat in the car crying. It felt like a double betrayal: I wanted to act as a gentleman and not as a hard man. For men, the sexual component of their wife's affair is very important - they are more concerned about the sexual aspect than if their wife loved the man she slept with. Chris didn't return home for three days. I went to stay with friends. In the end, he found it impossible to forgive Lucy.
And in addition to losing his wife and family, her unfaithfulness impacted on his feelings of masculinity and self-worth. I'm now in a good second marriage. Sadly, Lucy and I still don't speak. According to Paula Hall, a relationship counsellor with Relate, husbands find it much harder to forgive infidelity than their wives do. Women are much more likely to ask: Men are more concerned about the sexual aspect. The review of the Registrar General on Marriages, Divorces and Adoptions in England and Wales, reveals that 29 pc of men are likely to present 'adultery' as a cause of the irretrievable break down of marriage, compared with 21 pc of women.
As men are more likely to be unfaithful in the first place, this suggests that men are less able to forgive an affair and more likely to see it as the end of their marriage. UK statistics show that almost a third of divorces cite infidelity as the cause of the breakdown of the relationship. Traditionally, men are viewed as the most unfaithful sex.
But there is evidence that female affairs are on the increase.
Wife had an affair but I still love her
According to the Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyle survey, while Sheila Williams understands this only too well. The year-old advertising executive cheated on her year-old accountant husband Charles when she returned to work after their third child started school. Married life, she says, was about juggling the different demands of family members. Weekends were spent ferrying children to activities.
But at work, Sheila was required to travel for 12 weeks every year. I felt carefree again. Soon, however, she wasn't spending all her nights abroad alone. I always saw it as very separate, something from a different world. Eventually her lover changed jobs, the affair fizzled out and her husband was none the wiser. But then Sheila met James at a New York conference. I wanted him, but I also wanted Charles, the girls and family life.
In the end, the decision was taken out of her hands. One night at 4am, the phone rang in her hotel room. Her lover leaned over and picked it up.
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It was Charles calling to tell Sheila that her father had suffered a stroke and was close to death. Compouding her feelings of guilt, Sheila's husband said nothing about the man who had answered the phone - at least not until a month after her father's funeral. I confessed to both affairs, as I knew if we were going to find a way through, I couldn't have any more secrets. He spent the first few days either shouting at me or crying.
And yet Charles was determined not to split up his family. They went for marriage counselling. The first decision taken was that Sheila, who split up with James, would no longer go on business trips.